


When the time has come that only I remember you

by HopeS_park



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: random (sad) drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 08:46:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11870757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeS_park/pseuds/HopeS_park
Summary: “And when the time has come that only I remember you, such will only be done with a smile.”





	When the time has come that only I remember you

**Author's Note:**

> For my dog, and best friend, Krümel, because I think the time where we have to part is approaching us rather fast.

Soma had found that after a certain amount of time the pain stopped coming. That didn’t mean you were starting to forget. Because, so Soma had come to realize, you could never really forget a person you once loved. But after a while it didn’t hurt as much.

The memories became a dull ache that would knock at your heart’s door at certain times. Then you’d cry, have a breakdown for God knows how long, but after that you could move on.

Somehow you also stopped counting. You may remember the date of your loved one’s death, but after a week, a month, perhaps a year, you stopped counting the days, the hours, the minutes; the seconds. When you stopped counting, you just continued living.

You also came to understand that perhaps you are the only person who still remembers.

Others may recognize their name, but never would they feel the same dull ache you still encounter every time you remember the way they laughed; the way they comforted you when you cried.

Soma had come to learn that perhaps watching your loved one go was a privilege, though you might want to view it as a curse. But, so the prince knew, he would have regretted and hated it, loathed it, if he would not have been able to be close to his beloved khansama when he’d left for the next life.

Even though the English had a different view of life and death, Soma had clung to the beliefs of his religion. Knowing that sending Agni off to a next life was way easier for him than sending him off to heaven.

With time moving on, memories come and go. Some linger around for a while. Making you laugh or leaving with a sting.

Soma had returned to India. But somehow, being home made the pain worse. So he’d left. Left for a new place. He couldn’t bring himself to go back to England.

He’d spent the last twenty years in the States, and yes, the prince worked. Actually, he worked a lot. Because the work got his mind off the sorrow.

And he loathed every single hour he had to spend on his own, alone and inside his empty apartment, with nobody there to accompany him.

Several women had shown interest in him throughout the years. But he never really could bring himself to give his heart to anybody. Not after Agni.

He had never eaten Gulab Jamun again, not in his entire life. Oh, and he had never even dared speaking the word _curry_.

He’d started drinking soon after his khansama’s death. But never had he let himself get carried away, because Agni’s voice had forbid it.

When he thought that he was forgetting his beloved too much, he dug up that one photo, which they had taken on a lovely afternoon and stared at it until the tears streamed down his face.

Some nights he’d take a long stroll through the city, just thinking of memories he had made together with Agni, and when he found he couldn’t bear them anymore, he stopped at the next tavern.

He knew Agni would never had wanted him to end like _this._

But even if the pain became unbearable sometimes, the happy memories outweighed it.

And every morning, afternoon and evening, he repeated those words like a mantra,

“ _And when the time has come that only I remember you, such will only be done with a smile._ ”


End file.
